The New and Improved Groaner for the day!!

Discussion in 'Humour' started by DeRro, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. kneedragon

    kneedragon Re-Member ... ?

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2010
    Messages:
    7,824
    Likes Received:
    2
    Just got an email from New Scientist, spruking some premier service. The subject box reads "Gift for the uninhibited mind." I read that a couple of times and shook my head, they've made a mistake. If it said "Gift for the Uninhabited mind" then I'd really think they meant me...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. junkmale

    junkmale Flagging member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    8,401
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry Spinz, but...

    I asked a Kiwi friend how many sexual partners he'd had.
    Half way through counting he fell asleep.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Morpheus46

    Morpheus46 aka John

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2011
    Messages:
    699
    Likes Received:
    14
    The old bull and the young bull.

    The young bull says to the old bull "lets run down to the bottom paddock and f*#k a cow!"

    "Lets walk down and f*#k them all" responds the old bull.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    kneedragon and faffi like this.
  4. darren

    darren :)
    Super Mod

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    18,881
    Likes Received:
    17
    Nev the boat owner-

    The Fair Work Dept believed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help.


    An agent from Wollongong was sent to the fishing village of Kiama to investigate the boat owner.


    GOVT AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".


    Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my hired hand. He's been with me for 3 years.


    I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.


    Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here.


    He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board. I buy him a bottle of rum and 3 dozen stubbies every Saturday night so he can cope with life.


    Also, he gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".


    GOVT AGENT: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".


    Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. faffi

    faffi A.S.A.N.

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Messages:
    22,992
    Likes Received:
    67
    Good'un, Darren :D


    A police officer spotted a bicyclist coming down the streets, with no hands on the handlebars. Salivating from the prospect of issuing a fine, the officer flagged down the rider, who turned out to be a local priest.

    "It is against the law to ride without proper guiding of the bike," the policeman said with a stern voice.

    The priest, not too eager to receive a fine, thought quickly and replied:

    "Oh, dear officer, I am guided by God himself, no need to worry!"

    The police officer was just as quick of mind and said:

    "It is against the law to sit two on a bicycle."
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    kneedragon, darren and PAPPACLART like this.
  6. lindsaymac

    lindsaymac Can't reMember
    Super Mod

    Joined:
    May 13, 2005
    Messages:
    17,943
    Likes Received:
    91
    They've finally found a cure for dyslexia, now that's music to my arse.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    kneedragon, PAPPACLART and darren like this.
  7. darren

    darren :)
    Super Mod

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    18,881
    Likes Received:
    17
    hahaaa!!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. PAPPACLART

    PAPPACLART MCNews.com.au
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2017
    Messages:
    229
    Likes Received:
    86
    I only know one Joke and it is a racist one....is that allowed?
     
  9. verseandvoice

    verseandvoice Prophet

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,002
    Likes Received:
    3
    Apparently you can tell the sex of ant if you put it in water. If it sinks it's a girl ant. If it floats it's a buoyant.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    kneedragon likes this.
  10. mikesbytes

    mikesbytes ~(:-))-[Oo

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2005
    Messages:
    6,034
    Likes Received:
    17
    Like "why do black men always have sex on their mind?" ? Or "why did the Chinese man get lost?"
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...

Share This Page